Dearest Readers!

I am so  e x a s p e r a t e d  to find that the
Evansville, South Dakota Volunteer Fire
Department Symphony Orchestra
has  m a n d a t o r i l y  decided
to perform the cacophoneuous
gross concertoes of the
Alfred Schnittke.

What is wrong
with the pomp and fireplace
of Elgar? Or a rousting rendition of
John Williams scores? The Conductor of the
Symphony promised us Scheherazade and
Paganini's Violin Concerto Number One.

I did not purchase my season tickets
to the ESDVFDSO to be treated to a
b a r r a g e  o f  m u s i c .

This Schnittke is
hurting my
ears.

Help Me.